Redemption
by tigress6341
Summary: Kit moved to England 3 years ago. Heartbroken and fed up, he is somehow living, that is until Ty comes to the London Institute, bringing with him happy yet painful memories. Kit realises he has only fallen more deeply in love with Ty, but does Ty feel the same?Someone is coming for him. Inspiration- "All These Years" by Camila Cabello and other songs by various artists. Enjoy:)


**Kit P. O. V. **

It's been three years since I moved to England. But with a lot of obstacles along the way. For example,I got angry. At myself. For not stopping him when I had the chance, then blurt out my feelings hoping it would change his mind, only to find out that I was living in a dream. I meant nothing to him. And it woke me up to a cold reality that was waiting for me. I was stupid and young.

But then I moved to England. It was a hard decision to make, but it was a good one. There was no need for my heart to break over and over again by seeing Ty. It would have ruined me. Although it left me with dreaming of Ty dying over and over again or perfect fantasies that are never going to happen. But, I couldn't complain. Jem and Tessa let me interact with mundanes my age, Jem helped me with Shadowhunter training, while Tessa helped me with mastering my powers. Then Will was born. He has Jem's black hair, with a streak of gray in it for some reason, and he has dark brown eyes, a spitting image of his father.

All three of them treated me with so much love. It opened up my eyes that not everyone in the world is like my father was, never showing me enough love, never caring enough. For some reason, there were people who were willing to lay down their lives for me, considering that all I ever give someone is pain. I prioritised myself over Ty. I was selfish. I didn't want him to raise Livvy because I was scared it was going to hurt him.

Is it possible to just feel like a burden floating around people's shoulders, destroying everything I cross paths with, but unable to die because some people care about me too much and I care about them too much? That's exactly what I feel like. It's like a permanent pain inside my chest, manifesting, like a black hole that grows bigger everyday only known as The Blackness. I know that one day its going to take over me, and its either going to make me kill myself or everyone else around me.  
If I'm honest, I still can't get over Ty. He was beautiful. His eyes were made of titanium, his hair woven threads of the night and when it caught the light, it shone like there were bright stars adorning his hair, framing his face. But he probably thought of me as a loner loser who was there just because that was the closest Institute. It hurts. I still remember what one of the last things I ever said to him were. "I wish- I wish I'd never known you."  
Even now, it still intensifies the pain in my chest by a million. I had had a reason to say it though. By that time, I had realised that Ty hated the mere thought of me. I wished I'd never known him, so he could have never caused me the pain that he did. If I had never known him, maybe I wouldn't have had a lacework of scars on the back of my right hand, across the Voyance rune he himself had put there 3 years ago.  
I don't know how much longer I can live like this.

I'm sitting on my bed with the sheets tangled around my waist, watching the moon as it descends. I glance at my clock. 3 A. M. I run my hand over my face, trying to cast my nightmare from my mind. In my dream, I was back in the house, my dad being torn apart by Mantid demons. Once they were done ripping my father apart they suddenly disappear into thin air, not even a wisp of smoke left to hint of their presence previously. Suddenly the room was on fire, the flames engulfing Ty in a matter of seconds, his screams piercing through the thin film over me of sleep, shaking me awake. For a few minutes, I was making sure that I was still in my room, in the London Institute.

We moved here after Will was born. I liked having my own room, but all Institutes have the same layout and I realised I had taken which room would have been mine in the LA Institute. The one Ty would sleep in front of, just in hopes that I would emerge and talk. Something about that dream has really put me over the edge, so I pull back the covers, feeling the cool air hitting me like a freight train. I slip a stele and a seraph blade into the pockets of my jeans. Hey, I'm not stupid, nighttime is where the demons thrive.

I know what you're thinking, 'if he's taking such precaution, then why is he even going outside?' well the answer to that is, because I need some fresh air in my lungs to help me breathe. Or about as fresh as you get in the middle of London. I quietly walk out of the Institute and head to Blackfriars bridge, and the smell of smoke, fuel and lake water really helps me focus. It's the one place I always go to, when I need to think, or I'm upset, and partly because Jem and Tessa can still see me from the very top if the Institute. I don't bother with a coat, feeling the chill in the air raise goosebumps on my skin, making my skin tingle, but seriously, I couldn't care less if I got pneumonia right now, I need to clear my head. The walk is quick, five minutes.

I would have thought being surrounded by British hot people would help me get over Ty, but no one could ever compare to Ty. I could spend my whole life getting over him(yes a Lauv reference, he's a huge deal here and his music is pretty good), so a hot girl or boy can't help me get over it if I tried.

I take a deep breath feeling pollution and lake mist getting dragged into my lungs. I close my eyes, just basking in this small paradise I created in the heart of London. A small smile graces my face, and for a fraction of a moment, The Blackness fades, and it feels like a huge weight off my chest then its back, a large suitcase of emotional baggage. Sometimes I think about the Kit of Los Angeles, the fifteen year-old who was funny, knew how to make funny jokes, knew how to feel alive and thriving, both inside and out, not like the eighteen year-old, who was a hollow shell.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for, but the negativity is also there. Funny, when somebody can walk into your life like taking a walk in a park, and a single blink or look can make your day or break your soul into a million pieces. I stood there for what felt like forever, but I knew it was only a few minutes. Standing at the bridge felt like taking a drag of a cigarette. Pulling the smoke and air into my lungs, knowing it's bad for me, but enjoying it anyway, due to the calming effect followed shortly after. 'Why am I like this? ' I wondered.

I took my hands off of where they rested on the cool metal railing. And turned around to head back to the Institute. I turned, and my heart caught in my throat as my eyes widened. My heart started running 10 miles an hour. My breathing became irregular, and suddenly, all the memories came back.

Ty.


End file.
